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the Bad Catz!
Zelda - alpha cat, born August 2001 
<
Zoe - the middle cat, born March 2002
Zippy - the baby boy, born March 2003
We must have been good cats this year after all. Santa filled our stockings with jingly balls and furry toy mice.Tuesday, December 16, 2003
Maybe if we are just a bit better this coming year he will leave real mice next time!
We, Zoe and Zelda, are blaming Zippy for the lack of real mice this year. He kept chewing on the lights on the tree, making the whole string go out. We told him he was a dim bulb and that eating more bulbs won't make him any brighter.
posted by Z 12:07 AM
Pet lovers helping military pet owners.Sunday, November 23, 2003
posted by Z 9:57 AM
Our "inner toys":Monday, October 27, 2003
Zippy is like a Slinky. He stretches out and then arches up, just like a Slinky walking down stairs.
Zoe is like Silly Putty. She stretches and bounces.
Zelda is like Lawn Darts. The old kind. With the lethal points.
posted by Z 8:20 AM
As planned, Zoe went to Conor's school. Conor had written about Zoe for his writing class:
My Life With the Duster-O-Rama
Zoe. Named by my mom. Zoe is the mid cat but Zelda my other cat is the boss cat. Zoe is black with some brown. She is dopey if you think your brother and or sister are dumb read this and will know what dumb means!
When I don’t feel very self-confident Zoe does something dumb and, then I feel very self-confident! Like when Zoe morphed into a Cat Duster-O-Rama! Zoe went under my bed and Cat Duster-O-Rama a.k.a. Zoe crawled out from under my bed with a fuzz-ball on her nose!
Zoe is a good friend to me. She comforts me when I’m sick and keeps me warm at night. One time I was in bed with a cold and Zoe stayed there on my bed. She gave me the “grrrrr, I’m going to kill you” look but instead she snuggled up and fell asleep with me.
Zoe will always be my favorite kitty even if she is dopey and eats bugs.
Showing the perversity of cats, Zoe was not naughty at all. While the humans seem to find her sweetness admirable, we can't help but feel a little let down.
posted by Z 1:06 PM
Zoe is very excited. She will be going to visit Conor at school today.Monday, October 13, 2003
Wheeeeee! Many opportunities for cat-badness.
posted by Z 10:03 AM
The TV news said that lady bugs are swarming lately. They are looking for a warm place to spend the winter. One came into the house and provided much entertainment for the kitties. We would like to invite more to join the fun.Saturday, October 04, 2003
Fun for us anyway.
posted by Z 8:42 AM
Saturday, September 27, 2003
(Click on the photo to see some more pictures from Iraq at The Primary Main Objective.)
Chief Wiggles is gathering toys for kids in Iraq. While we think this is wonderful we would like to suggest Catnip for Kitties.
Zelda would also like to suggest sending all types of flea treatments in the U.S. to Iraq. Not just some, all of it. The farther away from her it all is, the better.
She hates fleas, but hates the flea treatments too. It really puts her in a nasty mood. She's cranky enough as it is without this adding to it. (The last time she got a Frontline treatment, we learned some new kitty cuss words.) At least it's short term, she's in a much better mood overall now that the fleas are gone. That stuff really works well.
How do cats that aren't allowed outside get fleas anyway?
posted by Z 11:12 AM
Some scientists say that velociraptors hunted in packs.Thursday, September 25, 2003
Zippy and Zoe are like velociraptors...if you can call two a "pack" and if you can picture velociraptors as furry and slightly pudgy. They also work more out of curiosity than cunning. Let's face it, a cricket isn't the most challenging prey.
posted by Z 11:22 AM
Zoe went to the vet today. She got a check-up and vaccinations. Part of the check-up has her convinced that the vet is an alien. We are trying to be careful not to use the word "probe" within her hearing.Wednesday, September 17, 2003
posted by Z 12:26 PM
Zoe should check out their team, her jumps really have altitude.Tuesday, September 16, 2003
posted by Z 7:48 AM
What we did today:
Zoe knocked over the water dispenser (again).
Zelda napped.
Zippy practiced running between peoples' feet as they walked down the hall. This is best done when the person is carrying something that blocks their view of you but any opportunity should be taken to reinforce the fact that cats are agile and humans are clumsy.
posted by Z 1:07 AM
When you are exercising your right asFriday, September 12, 2003a memberruler of the household (scratching furniture, knocking things off tables, general naughtiness) and someone fusses at you, do not react immediately. Slowly stop what you were doing, turn toward the person, look at them for a moment and then blink at them. This will let them know that you find their fussing tiresome and boring.
posted by Z 1:03 AM
Zoe never holds her tail straight up the way the other two of us do. Her tail always curls into a question mark at the end. The question she's always asking is, "Are you going to eat that?" It doesn't matter what it is: cat food, cat treat, a bug, lint.... Her motto is eat first, figure out what it was later.Monday, September 08, 2003
posted by Z 11:23 PM
Poor, poor Zippy, he's a confused kitty. When people say "laptop" he thinks they are saying "naptop". (Well, it is nice and warm.)Thursday, September 04, 2003
posted by Z 9:24 AM
Zelda is thinking of applying for an office job. She works very well as a paperweight and as a paper shredder...except when she gets confused about which she is supposed to do. All three of us would be happy to work as keyboard covers.Tuesday, September 02, 2003
posted by Z 6:03 PM
Resident calls panther statue 'pagan'
(A) lone woman stood before Tarrant County commissioners on Tuesday, saying that the bronze statue of a panther represents "paganism" and should be removed from government grounds.
...Castillo said she would also not be bothered by a statue of a steer, because Fort Worth is nicknamed "Cowtown," but that a "cat-type animal brings more sinister symbolism."
We resent being called sinister and would like to note that cats are widely considered to be dexterous. We also want to point out that cats are not pagans. Heathens, maybe. We do not like assumptions such as the one she made...since she lives in "Cowtown" should we assume she's a cow?
posted by Z 5:34 PM
There have been some thunderstorms lately. Zelda hides whenever there is thunder.Sunday, August 31, 2003
posted by Z 1:10 AM
We have been helpful kitties this week, not bad at all! We helped the oldest boy clean his room. We pounced on things he was trying to pick up (sometimes we pounced on his hand by mistake). We just wanted to make sure that everything he was picking up was dead. If you had seen the room you would understand our concern about this matter.Saturday, August 30, 2003
When he makes a stack of things, we climb on top of the stack for a stability test. The stacks usually fail the test. We know he appreciates our help because he brings us into the kitchen for treats and then runs back to his room and shuts the door so we won't feel overworked.
posted by Z 1:37 PM
Zippy caught a cricket. He and the cricket played for a while. Eventually the cricket quit playing. Very disappointing for Zippy.Monday, August 25, 2003
Last time he caught a cricket, Zoe ate it.
posted by Z 1:42 AM
A spot of sunlight is reflected onto the ceiling. Zelda stares at it, wondering if it is possible for a cat to lie down on the ceiling.
posted by Z 3:15 PM
Zelda was sharing her place in the sunshine with Zoe. If this can happen, the possibility of world peace doesn't seem so unlikely.Saturday, August 23, 2003
posted by Z 2:11 PM
Zoe finds a bag with something in it...Monday, August 18, 2003
Zippy was not amused.
Later, Zippy helps with the laundry. What a good kitty!
posted by Z 9:00 PM
We have heard the children talk about CATS tests in the past. When they are taking the tests, the school tells them to get to bed early and to eat a good breakfast. While increased sleep time and demanding to be well fed first thing in the morning are two aspects of being a cat, that is not enough. It saddens us to think how poorly they must do on these tests.Friday, August 15, 2003
As we mentioned, sleep is important but an early bedtime does not make up for all the missed naps during the day. Not only that, once they go to sleep at night, they stay asleep. We have meowed loudly at 3:00 in the morning, asking them to join us in roaming the house but they refuse to get up.
Cats can leap. The children may hop and jump around a lot but they don't even have the leaping skills of a six-week-old kitten! We don't understand why they would prefer sitting in a chair or on the floor to perching on top of an open door.
Cats can stalk things...the children are so noisy they couldn't sneak up on a rock. A cat can sit quietly, either watching what is happening around it or ignoring everything as it wont to do. The time that the children spend sitting quietly could best be measured in nanoseconds.
We imagine they do get points for occasionally playing with their food before eating it even though they choose food that doesn't play back. (Nothing beats a bug for playtime fun and tasty snack goodness yet we never see them eat bugs.)
For their sakes, we hope the tests are graded on a curve.
posted by Z 10:10 AM
We all got our monthly flea treatment on Thursday. Zelda spent the rest of the day sulking. It's not that she wants to have fleas, it's just that she thinks she should be able to get rid of them by willpower alone.Wednesday, August 06, 2003
The past two days have been fairly peaceful. The children went back to school yesterday leaving the house nice and quiet so we could have long uninterrupted cat naps.
posted by Z 2:49 AM
Some PEOPLE we know (we won't mention any names, but you know who you are) went to the Newport Aquarium today. Not only were we left home alone with no one to tell us what wonderful kitties we are, no one brought us home any fish! All those fish...they wouldn't have missed a few of the little ones.Sunday, August 03, 2003
posted by Z 10:59 PM
Today is Zelda's birthday. As a present to her, we will not pounce on her when she hogs the best sunshiney goodness coming in through the window.
posted by Z 2:23 PM
Wednesday, July 30, 2003Cat Toys: Thinking Outside the (Cat) Box
by Zoe
Cat toys should have feathers. Even if the feathered things wasn't originally designed as a cat toy, it will become one. The little girl has a pen with feathers, it's mine now. I would not be displeased if the family got more feathered things, parakeets for example.
Socks are fun too. I capture them and strut around the house with my "kill" in my mouth. The ones from the boys' room smell like dead things anyway. Look at it this way, I'm saving them from all going missing in the laundry by hoarding them under the couch. See? I'm providing a service, so what if the living room is beginning to smell like a locker room?
Another excellent toy is our automatic water dispenser. It has a bowl with a big plastic bottle on top that lets more water into the bowl as we drink it. I've found that head butting the bottle makes it bubble. Head butting it several times makes it tip over, spilling water everywhere. Wheeeee! The people here do not share my amusement with this.
posted by Z 1:21 PM
Things in our world come in these categories: things to eat, things to play with/attack, things to nap on, and things to ignore. Sometimes things will fall in more than one category. No cat will ever tell another cat not to play with his food.Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Things to eat include bugs, paper, lint, cat treats, mystery objects found on the floor, and if nothing else is available, cat food.
Things to play with or attack include everything that isn't on the "ignore" list. You know how well you have chosen something to play with by how much a person tries to distract you or stop you from what you are doing. Ignore them.
Things to nap on includes anything large enough to hold a cat. Look for things with a high annoyance (to others) factor. This could include computer keyboards, newspapers or books that someone is trying to read, clothing that is in a contrasting color to your fur, or (Zoe's favorite) in front of doors. A nap right in front of the refrigerator just before dinner time is always good.
One thing to ignore is anyone who calls you "wittle kitty wuv ums". Ignoring people who use baby talk to cats does not rule out leaving "presents" in their shoes. Other things that may be on the ignore list are cat beds (you don't have to be an 800-lb. gorilla to sleep where you want to), scratching posts (the furniture is just fine for us, thank you), anyone calling your name (as if you have nothing better to do than come running to them like a dog), and, as mentioned above, anyone trying to distract you from playing.
posted by Z 3:16 PM
Today's forecast, intermittent naps with brief periods of scattered cat badness. The badness is expected to be in the form of cat races down the hall and across tables, chairs, and the couch. It is impossible to determine at this time what type of damage will be caused. It is suggested that breakable objects be secured inside closed cabinets. If there are signs of approaching racing cats, take shelter immediately.Monday, July 28, 2003
Napping cats can become racing cats in seconds. Be alert, you're safety and the safety of your things is at stake.
posted by Z 1:35 PM
Cat knocks on door to save owner in fireSunday, July 27, 2003
Are they sure the cat wasn't knocking on the door to say, "I was making some smoked salmon and things kinda got out of hand"?
Still, it's a good lesson for cats. When there's trouble, it's a good idea to wake yourmeal-ticketbest friend. Rewards of kitty treats and catnip toys would be appropriate...or dare we suggest adding a fish tank and maybe a parakeet or two to the household? Those would make nicesnackspets for the cat.
posted by Z 6:25 PM
What do you mean dinner isn't ready?
posted by Z 8:02 PM
Saturday, July 26, 2003Zippy giving that "come hither" look...a bit difficult to pull off after one has been neutered.
Zippy and Zelda will both pose for pictures taken with the cell phone camera.
Zoe thinks the phone is a cat toy. This results in distorted pictures of a cat nose.
posted by Z 7:51 PM
Zelda...this is her "happy face".
posted by Z 1:02 PM
Zelda is looking out the window making little cat noises.Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Zoe is sleeping on the floor. So is Zippy but he is using Zoe as a pillow. She is the one with the softest, fluffiest fur.
posted by Z 12:29 PM
Oh, joy! A paper grocery bag! Zippy runs inside it only to be attacked from the outside by Zoe.Monday, July 21, 2003
Zelda watches in amusement. When Zoe was little, she had gotten inside a bag too. Zelda sat on the opening of the bag, pointedly ignoring the kitten trying to get back out.
posted by Z 5:12 PM
Zippy's favorite toys are a flat furry cat toy critter and a mechanical mouse.Saturday, July 19, 2003
Zoe's favorite toy is a milk ring. When a new bottle of milk comes home from the grocery, she is there waiting for the plastic ring from the cap.
Zelda's favorite playthings are the minds of inferior creatures. In her opinion, this includes pretty much everyone.
posted by Z 10:32 PM
Zoe steals kitty treats. If another cat is offered a treat, Zoe appears out of nowhere and scarfs it down as if she were a dog or something!Friday, July 18, 2003
Very rude behavior for a cat, if you ask us (Zelda and Zippy). The only good thing is that she also steals Cheetos from the people if they aren't paying attention (guarding their food.)
You can take a cat out of the street but you can't take the street out of the cat.
posted by Z 7:03 PM
It has come to our attention that some may think we don't appreciate our humanWednesday, July 16, 2003stafffriends. What we write here is all in fun. Really. We hope you don't take it seriously becausewe are afraid we won't get fedwe don't want to hurt your feelings.
We're just a fun bunch of kitties who like to jokeat your expensearound. Fun, fun, fun. That's us. Wheeeee!
posted by Z 5:04 PM
What Your Cat Is Trying to Tell You
TOKYO (Reuters) - Now that you can interpret what your dog is saying, how about your cat?
Takara Co, a major Japanese toy maker, said on Wednesday it would launch a device called the "Meowlingual" that can interpret a cat's meow, hoping to repeat its success with the "Bowlingual," a dog translation device.
Takara said the Meowlingual, a palm-sized electronic console that displays the interpreted phrase on a screen, will be priced at 8,800 yen ($74.62) and it would aim to sell 300,000 units by the end of March 2004.
Takara has sold about 300,000 dog translation devices in Japan since last year and plans to launch an English-language product in the U.S. market in August for about $120.
It has already rolled out the product in South Korea. The news hoisted Takara shares, which rose 5.68 percent to 781 yen by the midsession close.
We can tell you now, you DON'T want to know what your cat is saying. Continue to delude yourselves. For those of you who really feel you must know, read this and save the $120 (spend it on cat toys).
You think we are saying, "Mmmmm, cat food. You provide for me soooo well. I love you." We are really saying, "Staff, feed me now! If I had opposable thumbs, you would be out of a job!"
You hear, "I want to be with you." What we are really saying is, "My ancestors ate your ancestors. You are allowed to continue living only by my whim."
Meowing at the door isn't, "Let meeee-ooout." It's, "What is this place, a jail? Do you know who I am? Get over here and open the door! NOW!"
A meow when you come home does not mean "I missed you." It means "How dare you leave me! I left a present in your shoe to teach you a lesson."
If you are sitting down and a cat walks up and meows at you it is telling you, "You make a nice seat warmer, now get up and let me lie there."
Other random comments not related to specific circumstances are, "Have you put me in your will yet?", "Isn't it time for a cat treat?", and "Billions of humans and I picked you...what was I thinking?"
Those are among the nicer things we have to say. If you knew the rest, you would never be able sleep peacefully again.
posted by Z 9:58 AM
Zippy:Tuesday, July 15, 2003
I am an overly happy A.D.D kitten
Which cute or possibly strange kitten are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Zoe:
I am a chubby little kitten blob
Which cute or possibly strange kitten are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Zelda:
I am a rude kitten with a little pink butt
Which cute or possibly strange kitten are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
posted by Z 9:06 AM
Three cats whoMonday, July 14, 2003thinkknow they are all that AND a bag of catnip.
posted by Z 7:15 AM
Fun with Humans: Things to do after dark. Best done when there is only one person at home/awake.Sunday, July 13, 2003
Stare intently out the window into the darkness. Twitch a lot. When you have your human's attention, hiss at the darkness.
Sit and stare at a point in space directly behind your human.
Casually stroll into the room that your human is in. Stop suddenly. Look startled. Quickly race away.
At this point your human should call you to him/her for comfort (their's not your's, ungrateful creatures). Act reluctant. Make them offer kitty treats to get you to come to them (what do they think you are, a dog??). The end result will be a warm lap with lots of petting and kitty-love. Continue to glance at the window occasionally. Twitch ears.
posted by Z 12:42 PM
Zoe and Zippy, beware! Zelda is hogging all the sunshiney goodness coming in through the window in the kitchen door.
posted by Z 5:37 PM
Zippy wants to be a magician when he grows up. He has been practicing the trick where one pulls the tablecloth off the table without disturbing anything else on top of the table. He is not very successful.Saturday, July 12, 2003
posted by Z 5:35 PM
Zelda moved.
posted by Z 9:06 PM
Zippy - sleeping on the kitchen table half draped over the back of a chair. Comfort is a matter of mind control...or what would seem be an apparent lack of bones.
Zelda - sleeping on a chair. Tableclothes make a nice tent to hide under. (Grammar rules are for people, cats don't obey any rules.)
Zoe - lying on an end table watching kids play video games just waiting for her chance to stroll over and step on the GameCube button marked "Power".
posted by Z 4:06 PM
"I meant," said Iplsore bitterly, "what is there in this world that makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. "CATS," he said eventually, "CATS ARE NICE."Friday, July 11, 2003
from Sourcery by Terry Pratchett
posted by Z 3:42 PM
Proverbs for CatsThursday, July 10, 2003
Naughtiness is its own reward.
A bird in the paw is a fun thing.
All's well that ends with lots of kitty-generated commotion.
Cleanliness is next to catliness.
Do unto others in the way that is most amusing to you.
Naughtiness is the best policy.
Cats make the world go round.
Out of sight, time for mischief.
There's one law for the cats, another for the people.
posted by Z 7:34 AM
Plastic grocery bags are kitty nests of crinkly goodness.
posted by Z 12:53 PM
Zippy - "meow"Wednesday, July 09, 2003
Zoe - "purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"
Zelda - stoney silence
posted by Z 12:50 PM
Take naps in inconvenient places. Examples include on top of keyboards (one of our favorites), doorways, on the toilet seat, or immediately behind a chair at the table. Lie down on top of the TV remote control...see if you can change channels or turn the set on and off. It is very important to look as cute (and innocent) as possible while doing this.*Monday, July 07, 2003
* Zelda refuses to try and look cute. She prefers the "try and move me and risk the loss of important body parts" look.
posted by Z 3:20 PM
Zelda, Zoe, and Zippy (the three Bad Catz) with thoughts about doing the laundry:Saturday, July 05, 2003
Any time there is an empty laundry basket, it must immediately be filled with at least one cat. (As demonstrated by Zoe.) If the laundry basket is being filled with dirty clothes, a cat must jump in to help. Socks may be removed at random.
If the dryer is opened, cats must investigate. If it's winter and the clothes are still warm they should be left in there with the door open so cats can use it as a cosy napping place.
Keep your leaping skills finely tuned by jumping onto the stacks of clean laundry. When you are through practicing your leaping, these also make ideal napping spots. Try to cover them with as much cat fur as possible, it will save time later on. Again, socks may be removed at random. Think of it as a scavenger hunt for your humans.
posted by Z 5:45 PM
Much naughtiness last night. Today will be spent napping. Please do not disturb our resting...unless it's mealtime.
posted by Z 3:26 PM
No more booms, please. If there is noise to be made, cats should be the ones to do it. (We prefer the crash-booms of things falling from tables and shelves.)Thursday, July 03, 2003
posted by Z 12:08 AM
A message from Zoe:Wednesday, July 02, 2003
I will put up with a lot from my humans. Kids can pick me up and tote me around. I will ride around in doll strollers or wagons. I don't bite, I don't scratch. I'm a loving purr-kitty as long as you remember one thing...
All cartons of soft drink cans are mine! Reach in to get a can at your own peril. I will race to the carton from anywhere in the house to protect my cans. I will dive head first into the carton to attack the scavenging hand. Beware, I am Zoe, Queen of the Cans!
If you do succeed in getting a can and putting it in the refrigerator don't think you have won. Cats have patience. I will wait until you take the can out of the refrigerator and leave it open and unattended for a moment. You will return to find your drink knocked over. You must be made to pay for taking my can.
A cat being obsessed with cartons of soft drink cans isn't odd. Nope. Not at all. Perfectly normal.
posted by Z 12:54 PM
"Look before you leap" is a lesson that Zippy learned last night.
The lid to the toilet seat is usually kept down. All three of us have found it to be a nice perch for observing some of the stranger behavior of our humans. (Why do they take showers? Very odd, wanting to get wet all over.) Last night one of the humans was in the bathroom. The toilet seat lid was up but the door was closed.
Zippy has learned to open the door by running at it and jumping. The door opens. He runs in and leaps...splash!
He was fished out, a sadder but wiser (and wetter) kitty.
posted by Z 2:17 PM
Just what is wrong with some morning kitty wrestling? On the kitchen table. During breakfast.Tuesday, July 01, 2003
It will wake you up faster than a strong cup of coffee.
posted by Z 12:05 PM
Boxes make the perfect cardboard kitty lair.Monday, June 30, 2003
posted by Z 7:57 PM
Lie down on your human's computer keyboard until they go to Digital Cat Toys. The best one is "Follow That Thing!". Make sure the sound is turned on.Sunday, June 29, 2003
You can try getting to the site yourself, but you need to use the mouse and we haven't found a mouse yet that's cat-friendly (no surprise there.)
posted by Z 6:37 PM
Our heroes!
posted by Z 7:22 PM
Costumes for cats. We are not amused.
posted by Z 7:12 PM
At 3:00 last night, Zoe was thumping around in the hall. She made enough noise it sounded as though all three cats were there.
At 4:00 Zippy stood in the hall meowing loudly.
Zelda slept through her 5:00 turn to wake up the humans. Obviously one of us thinks she is too mature to join in kitty pranks.
posted by Z 1:48 PM
We have added a comments feature. Humans are allowed to use it only under the supervision of a cat.Saturday, June 28, 2003
posted by Z 2:14 AM
Windows create warm spots of sunshiny goodness. When we scratch at the wall, we are just trying to make more windows.
posted by Z 3:34 PM
Breakfast is the best time of day. Much kitty happiness.Friday, June 27, 2003
posted by Z 12:25 PM
Two of us (Zoe and Zippy) stood in the hall and meowed loudly early this morning. The mom appreciated our performance so much she got up and fed us.Thursday, June 26, 2003
posted by Z 12:04 PM
A fly got in the house and we chased it.
It was more fun the last time when wasp got in. We chased it. The people chased us. Great cat fun.
posted by Z 4:55 PM
The litter box has been cleaned out. There is much excitement.
posted by Z 2:28 PM
Plan for today: look out the window, twitch at birds.Wednesday, June 25, 2003
After lunch and a nap, of course.
posted by Z 11:56 AM
Ate, played, napped. It is amazing how we keep up such a busy schedule and still look so good.Tuesday, June 24, 2003
posted by Z 1:49 PM
Zippy was chasing invisible creatures inside the bathtub. Zoe watched to make sure none of the creatures escaped over the edge.
Silly humans don't know what we catz go through to protect them from this invisible menace.
posted by Z 11:21 PM
Zippy was playing cat-in-the-box but he got out of it. Now he's just looking for trouble to get into.
Zelda moved again.
posted by Z 6:09 PM
Zelda moved.
posted by Z 5:31 PM
Zelda is taking a nap in a spot of sunshine on the floor. Zoe is taking a nap on top of a box. Zippy is sitting on a table looking out the window.
posted by Z 4:58 PM
We woke everyone up early today. Now we are taking naps.
posted by Z 1:58 PM
